Mirror Interview

Purpose: To make it easy to have an attuned, deep, mutually satisyfing conversation

1. Questions for partner: Tune in to curiosity about your partner. Make a list of everything you're curious about in relation to this person. This can be based on their Introduction in the forum, posts they have made, your own experiences so far interacting with them, or anything they've shared in a public web presence.  Form your curiosity into some specific questions - around 3-6 questions is a good starting point.

2. Questions for self:  Now, thinking about your own life-context, what are the things you'd like to share about, that you would be glad for your partner to be aware of? These could be current endeavors or areas of focus; important themes, stories, relationships; areas of uncertainty, joy, challenge — really anything that you feel you'd like to bring into the conversation that feels juicy and alive to you. Form these into 3-6 questions you'd enjoy for them to ask you!

3. Finalize questions: I suggest letting the questions settle for a couple days as some new thoughts might come up around them about things to include or adjust.

4. Share questions: At least the day before your Zoom call, share both sets of questions with your partner. You can email your lists to your partner. You could also use a chart like this if you want.

5. Your learning tango: When you get on Zoom:

  • Choose who shares first and who will be listening

  • The listener will keep time

  • The sharer gets to choose any question from the list of questions posed to them (including the ones they posed to themselves) and answer it for a pre-agreed upon number of minutes (timed sharing). I suggest to start with 5 minutes and fine tune from there - that tends to be pretty spacious, and you can always add more time.

  • 1-2 minutes timed stillness

  • 2-4 minutes timed dialogue

  • Switch - the next person chooses a question they want to answer and do the timed sharing, timed stillness, dialogue

  • Continue until you are at the end of your pre-agreed timeframe

  • You can save the questions you didn't use for the next call, if you want

This is inspired by and adapted from Betty Martin's Three Minute Game